Bisy Backson

What a trip that was. The way down there was fine. The bus was good, good seats, no problem. Even got to sleep. But comming back was a total different thing. The seats were so unconfortable that my back hurts today and then they played 4 Stallone movies!!!! it was hot and they woulndt get the air conditioning going. It was the first circle of hell!. Specially because of the Stallone movies. 4, back to back!. I guess it could have been worse, they could have played 4 hours of Laguna Beach or something. Now that would be like the 7th circle.
I had a good time at the beach, I really needed to see the Ocean and just eat some amazing food, drink some beer and have a good time with no worries. That seems to happen at that place with no effort. What really striked me was the sense of ego that floats around the place. Too many "surfers" with big big egos. Not my thing. What is it with men and ego?, seems like it goes hand in hand with human nature. Here in Quito and with my group of friends is about who has more money, the best car or the nicest appartment. At the beach it was about who can ride waves the best, who looks cooler on a surfboard. Just amazing. I just dont seem to care about that sort of thing anymore. If money could buy happiness then I would have had a lot of it. But no.
We had sun. that was nice. When we got there it was a bit cloudy but then the next couple of days the sun was out and it was just amazing.
Im really tempted to go back next weekend. Maybe Ill just hop on a bus and go......

now, Im wondering what gift to get for a very special person. A Bisy Backson.

X

Montañita

Montañita has been very nice. I went surfing yesterday and enjoyed it a lot. But it was a lot harder than expected. The sun was out, and the waves were great. Trague mucha agua salada. Last night I got a bit drunk. I didnt expected it since I have not been drinking at all, but it was the right time. by the beach with good frien just talking shit. And I enjoyed it. Today is back to Puerto Lopez and then to Quito. I cant belive how much I´ve learned in this little beach trip. So I guess the right thing to do is NOTHING. Nevermind this, its just about me. I love the way the Ocean is so full of nothing and how clear my mind feels after I spend a couple of hours near it.
X

Cottleston Pie

Interesting couple of days. It feels like I never left. Problem is I'm so different, I guess that makes everybody different. I dont know.... Tonite I'm catching the bus to get to the coast. Hope the weather is as nice as it has been here. Rafaella and me playing.

Real Time

Its very interesting to see this city and not feel myself as part of it anymore. Its also very nice to realize who I am and where I come from. The best part is to be a lawyer again and understand everything and just be able to talk fluently without being scared of sounding like a dork.
But then I just dont feel like I belong here anymore.
Anyway, yesterday I got together with all my friends, drank some wine, ate some pizza and just laughed my ass off. This guys are totally crazy and I love how much shit they can come up with. Im leaving for the beach on friday. The sun is out and the surf is up!!!

Tigre

B.O.

November 21, 2005

We took off at 4:25, and got to Panama at 9:45. I"m in the plane, in Panama City. At Newark, 4 guys that look indian or pakistani climbed in the plante. OH MY GOD!!!, I've never experienced BO like that. the entire plane reeked like BO, they even had people come up in Panama and clean the freaking thing and still smelled like hell. I went to the stall and sprayed all sorts of things on me. Its just disgusting. Anyway... on my way to Quito. Will be there in 1 hour.

It was only my dad at the airport. How weird. Cant blame anyone, it was 12 at night.

My house, my parent’s house feels exactly the same. My parent’s look like not one day has passed. My mom looks really good and so does my dad. And my brother Daniel, even though he is married now and has a kid on the way, still looks like my little baby brother.

The strangest thing so far is to see my things, the things that used to be in my apartment all over my parents place. My rug, my lamp, my table. That stuff used to be part of my life and now its just sitting at my parents house. Almost forgot, Newton, the dog tried to bit me. The guy didn’t recognize me at all. I didn’t expect him to know me but he almost took my hand.

Anyway, it’s two in the morning. Its interesting how your perspective changes when you see things thru the eyes of someone that is looking at them for the first time.

Tomorrow I have some catching up to do....

Tigre

Jitterbug

I'm so freaking out right now. Its been 15 months. Thats not too much and yet I'm freaking out. The court its going to be appointed next week. Some battle I have ahead of me. Its almost as if I'm going back in time. I'm a bit scared too. I can't not go now. Its saturday night. I'm supposed to be flying in 10 hours. shit!. Anyway, things are going to be ok. I know that. I'm just getting the last minute jitter. Jitterbug. Jitterbug perfume.....

snow

... first day of snow.
X

Me

All of the things I realy like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

cero

Just happy 2day. 6 more days for Quito. OH SHIT!!

corrupcion del conciente colectivo

Todos los dias reviso la prensa ecuatoriana. Todos los dias espero ver un poco de cordura o sensatez de parte de los ecuatorianos. Todos los dias busco el lado positivo de todo este embrollo y todos los dias me doy con la piedra en la boca por tener fe en el Ecuador. Es inexplicable que un pais tan rico, tan exuberante, tan abundante en recursos naturales, en paisaje y en belleza natural a la vez tenga que cargar con la cruz de un subdesarrollo mental galopante. Como es posible que bajo el mismo cielo se de una biodiversidad incomparable y una corrupcion del conciente colectivo tan profunda?.
Realmente desilusiona. Y que se puede hacer al respecto?. Supongo que seguir el precepto de Gandhi que decia " Se tu el cambio que quieres ver en el mundo". Osea, mas claro lo que hay como hacer es nada, absolutafuckingmente nada.
Bueno, manana sera otro dia.
Dr. X

Balance.

I know I’m supposed to learn something out of all of this. Lets see:

Balance: Good if you have it, bad if you don't and don't push people 'cause it's not nice.

Fixion

Cuando bailo con el diablo, sobre piedras mojadas, dibujadas con la luz de la luna, la tentación me arrastra hasta las profundas aguas del abismo.
Que la corriente del río me atrape y no me vuelva a soltar. Y mientras braceo y trato de respirar solo siento que la vida simple, superficial y sin sentido que llevaba hasta hace poco ya no existe.
Mientras buscas el espacio y el tiempo necesario para sobrevivir lo único que logras es mantenerte a flote, por un momento, nada más. Por un segundo. Hasta que terminas por dejarte ir, por dejar que el agua llene tus pulmones y se apodere del resto de tu cuerpo. Y no importa si no entiendes nada porque al final todos nos damos cuenta de que lo único que valió la pena fue aquello que no hicimos por miedo.
Mientras más pienso en esa figura atrapada más dolor me da tener que decirle adiós. Pero no puedo rescatarla del mundo, aún cuando el mundo se esté pudriendo sin remedio.
Que ganas de hacerle vivir, que ganas de mostrarle el otro mundo, que ganas de soltar los nudos que le atan. Que ganas! Pero no puedo.
Las ataduras las creaste tu mismo, no yo.
Así que tu mismo tendrás que darte cuenta algún día de lo poco que todo importa.
Cuánto tiempo? Cincuenta, sesenta, setenta años y luego qué? Olvido? Nostalgia por lo no vivido? Por aquellas niñas tristes de las que no te enamoraste?
Y qué si este loco corazón no sabe que no eres para él?
Y qué?.
Cuando bailo con el diablo siento sus manos, siento su piel, siento su pecho, respira agitado, agitada. Respira y me mira desde la profundidad de su tentación. Me dice que le siga, que me deje llevar, que suelte las amarras. Que deje que este barco naufrague. Pero no me atrevo.
Cuando bailas con el diablo, cuando lo miras de frente te das cuenta que ese demonio eres tu mismo, que los miedos que enfrentas son los miedos que tu creas para sentirte vivo, para justificar esa vida sin sentido que nos entregan y que se nos escapa poco a poco, con cada respiro. Con cada hora, con cada minuto.
Ahora ha oscurecido. El reloj ya no dicta la hora. Como cuando escribía es canción azul, las horas ya no tienen sentido.
Tengo demasiadas preguntas y muy pocas respuestas.
Solo siento los acordes de tu cuerpo flotando sobre la pregunta infinita de tu mirada.
Me pierdo dentro de ti. Y sigo danzando con el diablo, al ritmo maldito de tu corazón.

Noviembre.

Nada bueno que reportar

ECUADOR!

El 20 me voy pa' Ecuador!!!!. YEAH!!!!!